I would like to thank you for my worst visit to the Dentist EVER. I have had some unhappy and uncomfortable trips before, and I will freely admit that going to the dentist is pretty much #1 on my list of things I hate doing. I get nervous, I worry that it will hurt, I generally feel slightly ill until about 10 minutes after I leave the office. I know this is all to do with my dentophobia, and generally nothing to do with the lovely people at your office. In your case however, it’s all about YOU, asshat.
Did you know that when you meet someone for the first time (whether you are a doctor or not) it is generally considered polite to introduce yourself? Obviously not, or I wouldn’t be asking. A simple “Hi, I’m Dr. Dumbass, pleased to meet you.” would go some ways towards you NOT being Dr. Dumbass. Even “Hello” would have been better than looking at me oddly and then launching into a long-winded lambasting about dental hygiene. I fully expect the “Brushing and Flossing” speech while I am being held captive in the big chair, but ranting to me about how everybody sucks at it, and acting as though that is somehow my fault is not particularly helpful, nor comforting, nor asked for, nor necessary. Especially when you go on ad nauseum for 20 minutes. In addition, I believe it is customary for a doctor to actually look at a patient’s chart before he starts running off at the mouth. But apparently you’re above all that lame “reading” stuff.
Also, berating clients about something that is genetically determined isn’t really a good way to make friends and influence customers. I had no influence over how my jaw grew. Is trashing me for it really helping? Does it make you feel like a big man to snark at me about it? I know I have a bad bite, thanks. I have always had a bad bite. I have had treatments, retainers, braces etc in the past to help correct it. Just think: it was worse! This is as good as is gets. I am able to eat and speak without drooling on myself, and I am pretty sure I look normal enough, so yelling at me isn’t going to correct it. I know putting braces on me would buy you a shiny new bauble, but you’ll have scare someone else into them thanks.
I know (because you told me) that you think that you would be out of work if only all us incompetent punching bags would learn which end of a toohbrush to hold, but let me tell you something doctor – you’ll be out just the same if all the punching bags leave your stinking practice to go have our teeth cleaned elsewhere. You are all the reasons why I don’t like going to the dentist rolled up into one loser person. Way to go.